Everybody (well, almost everybody) loves babies, they’re cute, small, and have that “baby smell” to them that everyone loves (on top of all that symbol of hope and extension of your soul stuff). But what if you’re baby doesn’t come with the “new” freshness that everyone loves? Afraid that your kid smells a little off, that it may make you look like, as Ned Flanders describes it, a “neglectarino”? Johnson has exactly what you need then, because they’ve started making baby cologne. It’s described as a gentle and soothing smell, able to take the stank off any baby. But the thing I wonder is, is this going to work out like Axe for men, where you don’t wash, you just spray yourself down. I also wonder how many babies smell bad on their own, because kids don’t really have body odor, it almost works out to one part dirty diaper, a cup of stinky baby, two pinches of neglectful parents and a dash of a congested crowd to make this really apply. (Unless you’re a socialite that’s showing off your new baby and you can’t bear to have the “skank baby” out of all your friends, and it’s too early to douse it in Dior.) Either way, if you want/need your baby to be the freshest, Johnson can help you come out smelling like a… you know the rest.